Friday, October 30, 2009

Lymphoma How Long Before You Die

Master M: Caravaggio, or when the details fano a difference!

Inizio la mia giornata lavorativa d'ufficio malerrimo..desiderando di vivere solo del mio lavoro d'artista più che mai, quando la mia oscura metà mi manda un link "magari ti interessa" dice...sono incasinata ma mi devono tempo qui e quindi al diavolo me lo prendo..lo apro..Mi si apre il cuore!

http://www.corriere.it/cultura/09_ottobre_29/caravaggio-autoritratto-caraffa-bacco_039cce78-c4b5-11de-ae8c-00144f02aabc.shtml

A quattro secoli dalla sua morte (nel 2010 si festeggia il quarto centenario della morte di Caravaggio) And then by magic you realize, thanks to technology that cleans up other old technology, a particular "M" wanted us to leave .. one of his hundreds of messages contained in his works such as itself and in its existence. (ancorail thank heaven that he was born!)

survey with cutting-edge tools has uncovered details of a hidden figure in Caravaggio's Bacchus, a paint past the darkest areas of previous restorations (and our eyes are not witty enough to observe that rich deserves to be read letter by letter and not only in its overall effect, or interpretation). Nothing new that we knew there was this strange reflex human, but now seem to be able to see a united stand and details that the previous findings, indicating a reasonable degree of certainty, that Caravaggio himself reflected in the jug "Bacchus" as he painted the picture.







's so logical! So perfect ..!

The art (and people) in every sector, including illustrations, should learn from these "small details ".... perhaps unnecessary, as they say to me when I enter maniacally in detail and I shed a tear or a figure reflected in the eyes of a character who is never seen in print because the print is too small x afford it, forget who is the true gentlemen what we must we capture and transmit .. also, and above all the fantastic.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Account To Kates Playground

Splitz - Sine Rest "4th Reich" Diary




Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pediatric Neurology Headaches Houston



-Bad start to the day part 2 -
.. if this continues Hyde will prevail I am sure, now the balance
images of blood falters and overlap with the vision of the office,
(and anyway even if not I'll get to the point di sguinzagliarlo personalmente!)

Ieri la giornata inizia con la mia sveglia in ritardissimo e annessa corsa per arrivare in orario in ufficio (missione compiuta non senza coglioni in autostrada e a milano, irrimediabilmente e inspiegabilmente attratti dal muso della mia macchina/fiancate), la notte prima si è conclusa tardissimo per un ultimo ritocco sulla illustrazione che finalmente sono riuscita a terminare nonostante il lavoro di questi ultimi mesi mi assorba interamente la giornata e la sera..
Arrivo in ufficio puntuale e giunta alla mia scrivania urto contro la ciave della cassettiera ,impigliandomi col vestito di lino vista la vasca di umidità che permea tutto, che si spacca a filo della con precisione chirurgica.
Tiro fuori mac giver and all that my father taught me and I can smadonnamenti after half an hour, including pliers, scissors, screwdrivers microscopic and a magnet to pull it out.
While I savor the victory I realize that does not close the drawer.
smadonno for another 20 minutes and I can make it do what I say.

Ok .. my coffee while to arrive at the office has become cold and put on another, or at least the intent is to ring the telephone .. hell and being on vacation all I have to say without being able secretary included enjoy a filter calls.
Casini.
course. Those
only 3 people that the boss did not pay and that left me to pay for them later this month, tantinello are furious and I owe her naturalemtne fan I have had no provisions on what the hell they want to give him as an explanation. Ok
ruled the death of the head and grasshoppers .. I try to spieargli that I'm alone in the office to make full accounting of the place and that being off both ends and not having signed checks I have to postpone the delivery of their paycheck to the next week back of the head. Gregorian Chant
hell to monitor and phones thrown in the face preceded by threats.
Ok, really hopelessly inizianoa girmi the blades are only 10 and already I am exhausted.

the day goes on with people who have not seen in bank credit in the bank and Villante and the others received only their not, and that while explaining that the same list of those who have already had and that between the bank and the bank receiving unfortunately times change, shed words than they actually need (which I do not, I have paid for a month and a half I'm months late and I will not see any money because I pay only in September xchè recruitment was delayed?) exchanging the phone for a friend finally venting their misadventures.

overcomes the ... and today ... that's it.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What Does Color Band Mean

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ap Bio Hardy Weinberg Lab

Revelation office lunch break: Stephen King is a visionary

returned from a difficult period between work and home work (which approved a fairy tale is coming:))
orinaria madness in a day of work in my mini lunch break of 35 minutes to leave early to take the bus and return home in time rights (the coach that I let go home at 19.30 hours and then human to a certain point), I'll notice a
Tg
online (as if the first now he had not made inroads in my brain, the term)
article Influenza A.
......... mind blank .... yet ..
hmmm ....

.. reminds me of something ..
Influenza A.

Influenza.
A.

here .. and then goes back to the mists of the mind ... the "A6",
flu that wiped out the human race ..
in the story by Stephen King titled "Undertow Night" collected in the collection "Night Shift"!





O_O '


-moments of silence
At this point, I echo the voices on TV of people who say everything is ok nothing pandemic! And those who repeat that the dead rise.
.....

hardly believe the coincidence, but especially the poor imagination of those who gave him this name and get back on my china coffee with a late lunch .. consapelovezza and a strange taste that my colleagues not to see how the majority, mixed among the divertimeno and bitterness.

mmh but certainly it is true ........" Night Shift "!


Saturday, July 11, 2009

How Braces Solve Underbite

IT WILL BE 'GOT ..........

Except for any thoughts THE BLOG AND 'CLOSED. But if you want to contact me , is always on the usual email address .

Greetings to all

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

March Dimes Ovulation Calculator

Golem Sine Rest "4th Reich"



Perhaps the final .. ;)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Kenmore Food Processor Parts

Golem Sine Rest: Color proofs in progress

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Motherpucker Lipgloss

Golem Sine Rest







more ...






Thursday, April 23, 2009

Harold And Kumar Guantanamo Baybottomless Party

illustrator

After all this time I found a dear friend and classmate of illustration, here is the link to your site but especially to his work
http: / / www. karintancel.com / index.html

well worth visiting it! Word of the Phoenix! ;)

This just a taste .. with permission of the author

Monday, March 30, 2009

What Are These Bumps Under My Stomach

pickup and delivery throughout Italy with SDA



















Brief curriculum
graduated in 1999 at the IPSIA G. Giorgi di Avellino with honors 100/100
Qualified on 18/09/1999 with honors 100/100
In 2000 he received the Award "Gerardo Aquino" granted by the SNO-NAC
He moved to Parma where for several years and is experienced working in laboratories in northern Italy.
Year 2000 "Life Course PFM" Napoli
Year 2001 "Approach to CAD / CAM" Zirconia Zirconium Bologna
Year 2002 "International Dental Update" Brescia
Year 2003 "Strategic Mettallurgia precision line Bologna
Year 2004" passivation techniques in implantology "Ferrara
Year 2005" Total prosthesis prof. Passamonti "Parma
Year 2006" Techniques of overdenture "Milan
Year 2007" By working with Romeo Pascetta "Napoli
Year 2008" layering "Napoli
Year 2009" Implant prosthesis Rhein83 "Napoli
Since 2009 owner of a dental laboratory to Avellino.

Since 2010 member SICED

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

How To Write A Letter Of Interest For Sorority

"Epitaph of the traitor"

"Now go, my friend of a past time,
your way with this certainty:
Any wrong you do to me and to all my fellow
State and will be returned three times, each time
different intensity and so
sin'anche having to invent new ones.

This is our farewell gift to your friends,
the epitaph on the tombstone of the grave that you dug our welcome

and miserable in the court of the infamous traitors, careerists, licks balls. "

Elisa Ferrotti

Why Are My Herpes Oozing

"Knife Thrower"

"From silence sometimes rise
items that do not want to hear.
turbulence in the broadcast signal,
Ghosts of troubles.

Fuochi fatui sul cammino
o segnali d'allarme.

Ma la ruota del circo non si ferma
e continua a girare,
antica,
scaglia perciò il tuo prossimo pugnale
senza indugiare.

Le luci del palco ti illuminano nell'oscurità di fiati sospesi
nel profumo di zucchero filato e cannella,
immortlato dall'effetto di foglie autunnali nel vento tutt'attorno.
Sorridi e lancia,
non indugiar più di quel tanto che basta
al fiato sospeso degli spalti
di far perder un colpo al cuore.

Ai posteri l'ardua sentenza!
Ma nessuno lascia segni tanto duraturi
nella folla
folle.
Nemmeno il sangue."

Elisa Ferrotto
28/10/2008

Friday, March 13, 2009

Average Apartment Electric Bill In Austin 2010



-Bloody Crazy Nun-

Friday, January 30, 2009

Washington Quest Card Support



"La nebbia oggi lascia all'occhio
solo fantasmi dei contorni delle cose
al di fuori della finestra.

Parole....
quante parole come fumo...
si aggiungono alla nebbia ed al mio.
Orgogli intaccati dalla rabbia,
dall'inappagamento delle conseguenze di molti
e delle cose,
quante inquietudini e malcontento
solcano con essa il vento.

Rassicurazioni pretese ....
oh, a volte gli umoni e le donne
sono come bambini,
indifesi,
sperduti nel caos,
small at times under the weight of things
and control that eludes
an Ariadne's thread

difficult to recover and the ball runs away.

The fog now leaves the strange contours
ghosts outside the window and mind
and even more in my nature to good
Cat
rilancindoli catch balls, touching them and then

block between its claws or merely handing
those who lose them. A tiring

game when it loses its charm and becomes
moody

thankless task daily. But let

soccrer away the fog with the wind,
with all that brings with it and move with the wind
I will certainly other
but as the buzzard,
resting silent in class,
'll let me run around, oblivious
seeds, shaking me

stronger
the wings ready to fly next to me in the fog
ammanterà
dyeing some of my flight
silent melancholy and poetry. "

Elisa

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Acrostic Poem Of Islam

stories in the Fog "Ichi nichi isshou"

in Japan used to say:" Ichi nichi isshou "

" A smile a day "
in our language .. ...

Who knows why but
fall on this evening's start of the year,
back to me in mind of a day when someone told me that

true courage is what allows you to always smile to life
despite all
after all.



Monday, January 26, 2009

Can I Get Another Windowsblind For Free?

sketch ring poisoning

Creatine Enlarging Heart

Berlusconi on recent cases of rape, "I do not think we'll ever" ... do not you for sure!

intelligence and diplomacy .... which for some strange virtue ..
neglecting also the aspect that should have legal protection laws to the citizens and the respect of at least those who can 'make laws to protect where they are needed ..

I do not like it too much policy-making polemica e tanto meno nel mio blog destinato a ben altro e francamente l'uso prolungato di Plasil non fa bene mi dicono i foglietti illustrativi, ma questa è davvero troppo..non se ne può più!

Non mi sto soffermando e non è questo il punto di questo post (che più che altro è uno sfogo di rabbia ed un vero urlo virtuale) , su chi ha detto e chi ha controbattuto alle affermazioni, ma la questione di per se e la considerazione di oggi di questo argomento ma sopratutto quel che vi ruota attorno.

Leggo dai giornali e non ci voglio credere...lo sento alla radio..e poi alla TV..e ci credo...accidenti..

"Il premier Berlusconi interviene sulla vicenda degli stupri nella Capitale e a Guidonia and does it with statements that have provoked controversy alive "

I-(I wonder why! not!)

" .. from the opposition. "Even in a country with the most militarized police and possible, such a thing can happen - said the prime minister -. It's not that you can put in a force field that we should have as many soldiers as there are beautiful girls, I do not think we'll ever '"

sooo!?
... I usually get angry and do not miss the little time for my lunch break to write about it but really it can not be more!
will not blessed with a bat this post I know really well but at least the king bullshit Shut up !!!!!!
"I do not think we'll ever "!!???!!
are shocked and disgusted. I also do not think you
we'll never stop making these invalidates and to punish those amenities as it should be called only men because unfortunately belong to our own species (defined animals offends the animals that are much more civil to each other) you can copiere such an act!

With people that "we should have as many soldiers as there are pretty girls" ah now dinuovo our fault because we're nice?! Eh?! If your beautiful
rape fgliola or your wife or yourself (and note does not wish it on anyone) that would Berlusca!? or like the journalists of the cabbage "how would you feel?"

But you think that your statements in vain to strike those who have had similar horrible experiences!? or those who are afraid that such a thing could happen? or those who risk every day to defend the citizens and then if you are leaving the police station or barracks that make fart and go free dinuovo around?!

But then the prime minister is correct when they note that it is possible to make a joke about a subject so serious and replied that "rape is a crime unworthy, uncivilized and reprehensible. Period. It is a fixed point - added the premier - mine was a compliment to the Italian girls who are a few million "

compliment?!
to you? and where it was sorry that i missed?
It was not by accident that if I have to attribute to the fact that rape is a pretty girl?!
And do you think girls should do in Rome and that of Guidonia? Be proud!?
And their respective children also because girls have pussies so that the first passing and not resist the violent just to get it?! SCEM
BUT YOU ARE OR HAVE YOU THAT I HAVE A FUCKING ALIEN, BUT I SAY?! Or you got it
Vittoria Franco, Minister of Equal Opportunity in the government according to which "in substance, according to Berlusconi's words, if women leave the house alone should put in mind of being raped or assaulted because you can not guard il territorio?».

Non ha come riparare a sta stronzata Berlusconi.E no me ne frega un cavolo se è di destra ed io no, non è questo il punto quindi piantatela ora di strumentalizzare la cosa!Vergognatevi perchè ci sono donne che stanno cercndo di riguadagnare la fiducia in se stesse pe rrimetter piede fuori di casa e voi gliela state togliendo ancora più dei loro aggressori perchè gli state dicendo che "capita insomma caèita, è sempre capitato e sempre capiterà, sei stata sfortunata, pace. ti passerà non farla troppo lunga ce ne sono molte come te."
Non lorderò ulteriormente questo post ne il mio blog con il vomito di parolacce e rabbia che vi vomiterei in faccia.

Stupro.
Surely each of you know what this word means placed in the dictionary as:
study che secondo invece la definizione del codice penale italiano
La violenza sessuale o stupro è: la costrizione mediante violenza o minaccia a compiere o subire atti sessuali. In proposito si parla comunemente anche di violenza carnale . Lo stupro è considerato un grave crimine nella gran parte degli ordinamenti MA presenta specifiche difficoltà per quanto riguarda la sua repressione penale. "609 bis Violenza sessuale
Chiunque con violenza o minaccia o mediante abuso di autorità, costringe taluno a compiere or subjected to sexual acts shall be punished with imprisonment from five to ten years.


The same punishment who induces someone to commit or suffer sexual acts :
1) abusing the conditions of physical or mental harm to victim at the time of the event; 2) misleading the victim for having the guilty replaced by another person.

In minor cases the punishment shall be reduced to an extent not exceeding
  two-thirds.    
609 b Aggravating
The punishment shall be imprisonment from six to twelve years if the facts in
the article 609 bis to have committed:
1) against the person who has not completed fourteen years;
2) with the ` use of weapons or alcohol or narcotic drugs or
other instruments or substances
seriously damaging the health of the victim;
3) by a person that mimics or misrepresented the quality of public official or
in charge of public service;
4) to whoever is subject to restrictions on personal freedom;
5) against the person who has not completed sixteen years of
who the culprit is the `bottom-up, the

also adoptive parent, guardian.
The punishment shall be imprisonment from seven to fourteen years if the offense is
committed against someone who has
birthday ten.


The group sexual violence is the participation by
more people gathered, to acts of sexual violence
referred to the article 609 bis.
Anyone who commits acts of sexual violence of the group is punished with
imprisonment from six to twelve years.
The penalty is increased if it helps out any of the aggravating circumstances
foreseen by the Article 609 ter.
The penalty shall be reduced to the participant whose work has had minimal
importance in the preparation or execution of the crime.
The penalty shall also be reduced for those who have been determined to commit the crime when
contribute to the conditions laid down by the numbers 3) and 4) the first paragraph and
the third paragraph of the article 112. "
I frankly do not see these applied pain you know?!
to punish the culprits are always good lawyers eh?! Or is it something else?

In
Christian Byzantium, according to the Institutes of Justinian
, rape was considered a "public violence" and not a "private violence"
and not the person but was punished with death.
Now I tell you to kill all the rapists but I do not fucking fair for something that will never go away from the heart and psyche of a woman, few months or years of house arrest or jail .. then I will eh?


In
Middle Ages, Andrea Chaplain, in his treatise of courtly love, do not hesitate to call on the knight, when he is in proper place and situation, to abuse, even by force of the lady from the heart.

Beeello! Really romantic ... and what we say of the historical traditions in India
, Mallanaga
writing
Vatsyayana Kama Sutra
cover between the methods of conquest of a woman (albeit one of the worst and relegated to the bottom of the list) that of doped or kidnap her and then rape her. [24] But Vatsyayana warns that:
[25]





«

[...]una fanciulla goduta a forza da uno che non conosce il cuore delle giovani, diviene nervosa, irrequieta, malinconica, e d'un subito prende a odiare l'uomo che ha abusato di lei: e allora, visto che il suo amore non e' compreso ne' ricambiato, eccola sprofondare nella mestizia o divenire misantropa, o poiché detesta il proprio uomo, cercarne altri »

E beh certo scusate tanto! Nella Bibbia tanto per migliorar la storia ( Deuteronomio , 22,23-29) [19] si legge:


" (23) If a virgin and 'girlfriend, and a man found in the city', you will 'lain with her, (24) are carried out both outside the city gate 'and to be stoned until they die: the girl because, despite its location in the city', did not shout, and the man because he violated the woman of his neighbor. Remove the evil from among you. (25) But if a man finds a young girlfriend in the fields, and making violence, lies with her, only to die and the man who 'slept with that; (26) but do nothing to the young, it did not commit cause of death, and 'as the case of an attacking his neighbor and kills him. (27) In fact, he has found that young girlfriend in the fields, she can 'he shouted, but nobody' s come to his aid. (28) If one is a virgin, no girlfriend, grabbed her and lies with her, and will be discovered (29) will be the man who 'slept with the girl must pay her father fifty shekels d' silver, and she is his wife, because he has dishonored, nor will be able to 'never refers to his whole life away "


Verse (29) and 'one of the earliest evidence of costume "Shotgun wedding " It was conceived as a form of compensation and protection for the woman who, having lost the 'honor

would no longer be' could be taken in marriage by any other man, however, as you can 'see, the law also protects women from any of a repudiation later. 1981, Article 544 of the Criminal Code admitted the "shotgun wedding"; According to this article del codice, l'accusato di delitti di violenza carnale, anche su minorenne, avrebbe avuto estinto il reato nel caso di matrimonio con la persona offesa (Cf. sezione XX secolo). Sempre di bene in meglio!

The shotgun wedding costume survived in Western culture until very recently: in Italy until


Poi nel costume italiano non trascuriamo quanto fu importante la canonizzazione di Santa Maria Goretti . Nata nelle Marche nel 1890, Maria fu pugnalata a morte a soli 12 anni da Alessandro Serenelli, un giovane del suo paese, per aver resistito a un tentativo di stupro. Dopo aver ricevuto l'estrema unzione in ospedale, perdonò il suo assalitore prima di morire. Fu canonizzata come martire della violenza. L'esempio di Maria Goretti fu proposto dalla Chiesa to young people as paradigmatic of a traditional view of women, ready to sacrifice their lives to not lose the purity (ie close to the model Lucrezia), but also able to forgive, in accordance with Catholic moral period. my comment is lost I'm fucking well and let me burn in hell better hate the cold! But
Italy andndo forward in time came into force on Rocco Code, for which the crimes of rape and incest, respectively, were part of "Crimes against public morality and good costume "(divided into" crimes against sexual freedom "and" indecent assault and sexual honor ") and" Crimes against family morality. " In practice, it was a crime against personal dignity and public morality, but not against the person. Even this is really valuable ... but good ...
addition, the '
Article 544
admitted the "shotgun wedding" According to this article of the Code, accused of crimes of rape, even on a minor, the offense would have expired in the case of marriage with the victim.
 

always better ..! In many parts of the world, by
seventies there were many rape trials, and that crime has become a crime against the person, (deo grace! even women with balls grace!) rather than against personal dignity or public morality. This change was promoted and achieved primarily through the action of



feminist movement, particularly active at that time. does not seem unfounded to note that in the speeches of many causes of defense lawyers often resound 's archetype of
Little Red Riding Hood, a character in a fairy tale that violates a ban on giving confidence to a wolf, despite the warnings of her mother, and suffered the just punishment of being devoured by wolves. The sentence of 1 year and 8 months imprisonment and released from custody were still fairly good progress at the time ...
Progress ... where ono hour in the era of the future? Where I wonder?
In a handful of "men and women" in power who tell us that they do not believe it is possible to solve these crimes will seek ways to better prevent and punish ?!... after all the struggles ... after all the victims of history after all movements to defend women's rights and to be protected ... You tell us:
"If you ask me something like there were the faults of the Minister of Interior, I have to defend the Home Secretary. "Ceto good defend your interests and your government not the people! Look, it was understood there was no need that reminder!! "Why do not you think that a state can get to avoid certain events, which could be avoided only by placing a representative of the security forces close to every beautiful Italian woman." "It was a compliment to the beautiful Italian women - has reiterated the prime minister - because the police are a hundred thousand, several million beautiful women." You and I know, as the daughter of a Police Officer, as the balls rotate at all when one hundred thousand police arrested a rapist who know that he would manage with so little, and nothing compared to the victim and if it comes out trbunale (if seen) with his fucking smile! ! But on what planet you live!?!

What represent me?! In Italy, where only 7.4% of women who claimed they had experienced an attempted or violence during their lifetime claims to have reported the complaint and the reasons for its failure are mainly linked to the fear of be considered evil, the fear of not being believed, the sense of shame or guilt ... you tell us PREMIER: 'in My spirit must never, for one moment, lose the sense of lightness and humor. "

Bravo.
.. no doubt ...
laugh ... sure it will pass ..!
do not know why but I do not laugh.

Go for Cabaret in some two-bit dump cleaned up and risen from the political scene fool!

"I do not think we'll ever '... do not you for sure!

How Much Money Is A Desert Eagle

"My Life"

The world I is not never seemed so distant and so close while
to be only a mere extension of my .. wanders .. but maybe not infuse our destiny?
feel a little on top of things and yet an integral part of reality
more than anyone else?
Love, Art, Life, anger, pleasure e.. .. Passion
children and parents of emotions, situations and creations often not covered or otherwise interpreted. In his eyes
them can see or not see a
infinite dawn of sound determination and a peaceful twilight to return to the home of the adventurous life
button Faro in the midst of the endless ocean routes without limits or boundaries


with me in my heart,
as the daughter of the sea, Travel freely anywhere
myself with the desire to open our arms to the world and take the sting Not a bit our destiny?
feel a little above the reality of things and yet so
part of them more than anyone else?
to others the dusty racking time
us life eternal spirits who live this life.

Banshee





Monster Energy Dog Leashes

-THE TWO TOWERS-parody of a ...

E 'on-line for a while ... and the author is "mysterious" may exercise a friend now married (still wishes Gab;)) or a non-anonymous you know ..... anyway sia di un colpo di genio, senz'altro, frutto, sempre gustoso da rileggere! ;)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-LE DUE TORRI-

Il film inizia con il panorama di alcune montagne. All'improvviso veniamo proiettati in un fantastico TEASER DI JAMES BOND, dove GANDALF e il BALROG invece che cadere da un aereo cadono in una spaccatura senza fine. Volano spadate, fiammate e lampi in un combattimento aereo senza precedenti.
PLATEA: WHOA!

A un certo punto qualcuno fa due conti, e si rende conto che tutto cio' accade mentre, nel primo film, il resto della Compagnia dell'Anello PIANGEVA E SI DISPERAVA. Vabbe'.

Inizia il film vero e proprio. FRODO e SAM, nella stada verso MORDOR, si sono imbattuti in GOLLUM, e sono riusciti a prenderlo prigioniero. SAM: Ma e' E.T. con la depressione!
FRODO (con aria saggia e triste): No, Sam. Questa creatura un tempo era un hobbit come noi, che e' stato distrutto dal potere dell'Anello, ed io voglio recuperarlo. Per questa ragione gli daro' fiducia e lo chiamero' SMEAGOL.

SAM (confuso): E perche'?

FRODO (consultando testi di CARL GUSTAV JUNG in numenoreano): Perche' se sapremo accettare la sua "Ombra" psichica, chiamata Gollum, essa sara' portata alla luce, e la COSCIENZA HOBBIT Smeagol potra' confrontarsi con essa in modo non conflittuale, ma positivo and constructive. So accept Gollum as a companion and we'll take him with us turn to him as Smeagol.

Gollum for the first time in centuries SMILING!

Frodo puts the book away and pulls out a receipt: They are ten gold coins. Back next week.

Gollum (whistling) Master treacherous. Master traitor. Grrrr.

Somehow, the three come to an agreement, and Gollum promises that will lead them 'to the Black Gate of Mordor without messing.

Legolas, Gimli and Viggo Mortensen while they were chasing in the land of Rohan, the Uruk-hai who captured Merry and Pippin. After a meeting with the Riders of Rohan Eomer led by brave, the three come to Fangorn Forest. The Uruk-hai were exterminated by the knights, and burned in a pyre smoldering.

Viggiano (kicking a helmet and killing a boom over): Damn!

looking at the ground but realizes' something strange.
Gimli: Oh! The instinct of the Rangers!

The three lead into the ancient forest of Fangorn. The tension and 'very high, when suddenly appear OUR LADY OF LOURDES.

Viggiano (open mouth): Can not 'be. OUR LADY OF LOURDES

: Of course I can not 'be an idiot! Do you believe that Our Lady of Lourdes speak with the voices of Ian McKellen and Christopher Lee together?

Gimli (uncovering his head): A sacred message!

discouraged, Our Lady of Lourdes, therefore, decided to reveal himself as Gandalf the White.

PUBLIC MOULIN ROUGE: AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaah!

VIGGIANO: Gandalf! Beyond the 'all hope you come back to us! But 'cause the lights bitches?

Gandalf: I fought the Balrog, and won, and then me and 'appeared a black monolith, and instead' become white, and it 'came the captain stars of the Pleiades, e. .. (Note the other three sides) So, here I am! Do not worry about Merry and Pippin are safe with a tree che cammina! (gli altri tre ripensano al Capitano Stellar e si scambiano un'altra occhiata). Noi. ehu. invece dobbiamo cavalcare subito verso EDORAS la reggia di THEODEN, RE DI ROHAN, ove si aggirano impostori e figure non richieste!

I quattro partono dunque verso EDORAS.

MERRY e PIPINO, nel frattempo, avevano infatti incontrato durante la loro fuga uno strano ALBERO PARLANTE, un ENT chiamato BARBALBERO. Dopo qualche discussione, l'albero accetta di portarli con se' nella sua dimora. MERRY (sfogliando la sua copia in hobbit del "Signore degli Anelli") E quando arriveremo la', povera Isengard!

Nel frattempo nella collinosa reggia di EDORAS le cose vanno davvero poco bene. Il coraggioso capitano EOMER e' stato esiliato. Il saggio RE THEODEN e' stato posseduto dallo spirito di LINDA BLAIR, inviato dal CONTE DOOKU di Isengard, e straparla. Il suo fido consigliere BRAD DOURIF cerca di approfittare della situazione per concupire laidamente la bella PRINCIPESSA EOWYN interpretata da MILLA JOVOVICH.

BRAD DOURIF: Il re e' finito in un altro film, tuo fratello e' esiliato e noi siamo soli. Giochino giochino! Che si fa? Il primo che indovina vince un bel premiozzo, mia bella pelosina! Ehehehe!

MILLA CHE FA EOWYN tace.

Stacco, la mattina dopo all'alba. BRAD DOURIF giace col collo rotto in fondo alle scale. In cima alle stesse MILLA si dispera.

MILLA CHE FA EOWYN: Che disgrazia assurda. scivolare sul My tea!

Tim Curry in the role of HEAD OF THE GUARDS: Not so tormentatevi ', Princess! You do not have any guilt!

STAR OF CSI which is examining Wormtongue: Uhmmmmmmm.

Mill FA Eowyn (pulling out of a pocket with a seal pergamenone clearly cut from the box of Toblerone). But luckily he had time to leave his last instructions! All march on Isengard, where the massacre Count Dooku and the Uruk-hai, and dance to the sound of their rock-n-troll!

PEOPLE OF ROHAN Bloodthirster: EYUOAAAAAAARGH! Suddenly

on Mill FA Eowyn stands a TETRA SHADE. MILLA becomes tiny.

PETER JACKSON (dark like a Nazgul): Well? But the coup here was not to do it Saruman?

unmask MILLA: Here.

attendants drag scene via Mill, which resists scratches and bites, while others put in place and readjust MIRANDA OTTO Brad Dourif

MILLA taken: May the Lord God forgive you for your changes from the book, Peter Jackson BECAUSE 'I will not!

Brad Dourif: Where were we? Ah, yes, 'to play.

MIRANDA OTTO: You are wicked and cruel, sob, plus you made me burn the croissant, sigh, buah.

STALLS (pulling popcorn at the screen): But who wants to 'STA Bakewell? Please provide BACK TO THE Figone DELL'OREAL! WE WANT BLOOD! (Boos)

While these things were happening, the palace came Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and Viggo. The four are invited to leave their arms.

Doorman: Even your stick, sir magician.

Gandalf: Come, good concierge! Brad Dourif can 'stand before the king with two crutches and a neck brace orthopedic, and you want to deny his old club?

doorman; Anyways'.

Gandalf enters the palace, and the first thing drops his stick at the head of Brad Dourif and Theoden, while the other three beaten up some guys who had the only fault to be dressed in black. Gandalf stands then in all its glory.

Gandalf: Get out! You have no right to stay here! FREEDOM OF THESE PLACES ON YOUR PRESENCE! GO! AND 'THE POWER OF Valar commands you!

Milla Jovovich (coming out from under a rug): All right. All right! I understood, you know? Too bad for you, I will never see more '! (Leaves between astonished eyes)

Gandalf (leafing through a copy in Elvish "Lord of the Rings"): These changes will be my death.

Theoden: But I feel like I woke up! I was having a dream where my beloved was Eowyn ... (Fourteen actors and workers are rushing to plug the mouth of the king).

MIRANDA OTTO: My King! We are at the tuoi ordini! Comanda e avrai cio' che desideri!

THEODEN: Vorrei una brioche!

VIGGO MORTENSEN: Sire, con tutto il rispetto abbiamo affari piu' urgenti di cui occuparci.

VIGGO bisbiglia qualcosa all'orecchio di Theoden, ed ecco BRAD DOURIF che vola fuori dal palazzo e in fondo alle scale, questa volta insieme alle stampelle.

BRAD DOURIF: EYAAAARGH!

PROTAGONISTA DI C.S.I.: La ricostruzione del crimine mi sembra ottima.

LEGOLAS (rivolto a VIGGO): Ma che gli hai detto?

VIGGO: Che voleva scoparsi Milla Jovo... Cioe'. (si morde la lingua). Ma @!#$! Vabbe', ci siamo capiti lo stesso.

THEODEN: Vattene, infame snake! It communicates to your Lord that King Theoden if not, will remain 'with folded hands while his kingdom sink!

For some reason feel the laughter REGISTERED. The people of Rohan is still convinced and happy, and the story will then return to our Frodo, Sam and Gollum, who by now have reached the Black Gate of Morannon, portal Mordor.

SAM: Oh save us. seem to be the gate of the Lingotto in Turin.

Frodo: It 's so, Sam, and these days and' more 'easy to get out to get into it. But we try anyway!

Gollum: Gollum If the Lord says that there was a way more 'easily and safely, the Lord is angry?

Frodo: The odds' are extremely high.

Gollum: So Gollum does not say.

SAM: Well, that's' the only way. Come on!

Frodo and Sam in June ruin 'by a steep escarpment making terrible. At the same time, make disturbing reading a column of infantry of Mordor, are playing the horns of the gate, turn up in the air five Nazgul, activate anti-aircraft turrets Mordor and deploy throughout the Third Division SS "Totenkopf" in defense of the whole region. With difficulty, bruised, injured and limping, the two back up.

Frodo: No, Smeagol, no. The Lord does not get angry. Meanwhile

Theoden decided to bring women, children and old to Helm's Deep, an ancient fortress of Rohan that will 'certainly one of the first military targets in the event of war, while Gandalf gallops away trying to retrieve the forced exile of Eomer. During the trip MIRANDA OTTO approaches curious to Viggo Mortensen.

MIRANDA OTTO: Brave and mysterious warrior for which my breast already 'pants, why that look angry? As a shadow cloaked in your heart?

Viggo Mortensen: (thought) The cloaks the fact that the same thing could tell me Milla Jovovich (said) and 'I did not understand if my great, only true and undying love' party for the Grey Havens or not and therefore do not know if and when we fuck.

MIRANDA not know what to say, which anyway do not give anybody anything 'cause then comes a watch in panic.

VEDETTA in panic: Orcs ON IENE Mann! Orcs ON IENE Mann!

King Théoden (taken aback): But when?! In my copy of the book (in the language of Rohan)'m not there! But who '... that idiot!

Meanwhile Legolas has already 'has bent his stately ARCO Galadriel! You hear a roar mixed with a flame, and arc a part ARROW prohibited by UN inspectors. After three quarters of an hour, ten miles away, a die struck in the chest that had nothing to do. Meanwhile the cavalry of Rohan and 'arrived at a gallop.

Riders of Rohan: me! THE MEETING AND 'UNEXPECTED BUT ARE OTHERWISE ITEMS EXPERIENCE!

Illuminates the fray. During the battle Viggo Mortensen gets caught in a hyena MANNARO who decided to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff. VIGGIANO is swept completely calm, roll even a cigarette.

VIGGIANO: Do not worry, in these cases, the hero always gets along, just look at Raiders of the Lost.

Viggiano and the Hyena MANNARO flying over the ravine. Curiously, you save instead rode the Scoter.

VIGGIANO: BUT THAT OF PORK PORK Valar ... (The rest is lost in the abyss).

Theoden, Legolas and Gimli (despondently, and keeping his helmet on his chest): do not believe that the Valar will hear its last invocation. (Shake the head and go back to horse).

Meanwhile, the people of Rohan led by Miranda Otto, and 'arrived safely at Helm's Deep, jackets' "The SMART WIZARD of Orthanc" had held five-orcs-five of reserve to attack while the knights were engaged in battle. The refugees will be welcomed by those who already 'had taken refuge in the fortress.

REFUGEES: Hurrah! Came the pastries! The Knights come

survivors, and Miranda and 'gripped by anxiety.

MIRANDA: I do not see Viggo! And that 'happened?

Legolas: Alas'! And he 'fell into a chasm, and unfortunately not with a Balrog, so I think the hopes are slim.

MIRANDA: E. you say. said something about me before he fell?

Legolas and Gimli us reflect very seriously.

Gimli: Maybe you!

Viggiano, of course, it 's dead, but' fell into a river which flowed right there 'at that time. The Epochal belly flop that has taken him but 'spread, and now floats like dead. Fortunately, the scene comes the SPIRIT OF LIV TYLER.

SPIRIT OF LIV TYLER: That's the kiss you laugh 'life (Viggo shows the Sacred Sword Narsil reforged) and here is the spit that you find yourself in the @! # $ If you still think that only once in the'. And you know who's talking!

SPIRIT OF PETER JACKSON: UNDERSTAND?!

Viggiano (reviving): This esperienza tra la vita e la morte ha improvvisamente illuminato molte cose nel mio cuore incerto!

Gia' che se ne e' parlato, ci viene la curiosita' di tornare a Gran Burrone, mentre in basso sullo schermo appare la scritta PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

AGENTE SMITH (mostrando una confezione di confettura grande come un bidoncino del latte): Per un Gran Burrone, un GRAN MARMELLATONE!

NO-GLOBAL TRA LA PLATEA: Buuuh! Fiiiiih!

L'AGENTE SMITH e' incazzato con sua figlia LIV TYLER per via della vita sentimentale di lei.

AGENTE SMITH: Tutte le volte che penso a te e quello la' insieme, VEDO BLU.

LIV TYLER (ascoltando col walkman l'ultimo disco degli AEROSMITH): That sucks, Dad '!

AGENT SMITH: How dare you talk so! '?

LIV TYLER: No, I said the disc.

VIGGIANO then he arrives at Helm's Deep, where all are preparing for the great battle. Meanwhile, Count Dooku and Brad Dourif plot.

Brad Dourif: The walls of Helm's Deep are elusive, except for one thing: a pipeline designed by the architects of their own strength of purpose to put mine!

Count Dooku (astonished): Incredible! Usually this kind of supercazzate the evil we do, like designing fortresses sidereal with the exhaust that just a torpedo to blow up everything!

Brad Dourif: This time no! But now 'we do not have an army! If only you had kept aside a bit 'of the army you have built for the Trade Federation.

Count Dooku: "If only"?! Why do you think that the merchants of "Attack of the Clones" took all the barrels at the end?

Brad Dourif UNDERSTAND!, And a tear of emotion flows through the cheek. Count Dooku comes out on the balcony of the tower. Given the end that made the last army completely in CG, this time however, decided to hire some also appeared in the flesh.

Count Dooku: Orcs of Isengard! King Theoden has failed in his promise to prove that does not have chemical weapons! This 'pruvucazzione nun there' that 'Na reply. VIUUUULENZ !!!!!

of Auckland REGISTERED PUBLIC STADIUM BY PETER JACKSON is superimposed on the soundtrack: UAAAAAAAAAARGH!

STALLS: Hey, you're right! In fact, King Theoden has never provided any evidence that chemical weapons Rohan DID NOT! But you see 'sti assholes - and we made them too good to go!

FARAM: Speaking of assholes.

PETER JACKSON: Now comes too, quiet!

In fact, in the meantime, Frodo, Sam and Gollum have come in the green district of Ithilien in search of alternative route. Suddenly a column of Taliban fighters accompanied by elephants GENETICALLY MODIFIED cut them off. Before i nostri possano reagire, pero', alcuni MARINE armati di archi sterminano sia i TALEBANI che gli ELEFANTI. A guidarli e' il CAPITANO FARAMIR, fratello di BOROMIR.

FRODO: Nobile Capitano Faramir, la vostra apparizione e' una benedizione. Il libro infatti dice che Voi rappresentate il contraltare di vostro fratello BOROMIR, l'incarnazione della nobilta' e di tutto cio' che sia il soldato che il cittadino possono amare in un Capitano di Uomini!

Gli uomini di Faramir prendono Frodo e Sam, li mettono in un sacco, li riempiono di legnate, li bendano, li legano, li prendono ancora un po' a calci e infine li gettano in una cella a GUANTANAMO.

SAM (alzando una mano): Non parlate, Padron Frodo. Lo so. E' the ring that makes you say what you say.

Frodo (shaking his head with eyes full of sadness): No Sam. It 's not the Ring. And 'the script.

We were forgetting to Merry and Pippin! Meanwhile, even the things they have developed, the two hobbits to the ENT told what is happening in the world, and evil 'of Count Dooku, and twenty SHEPHERDS OF TREES Friends and Treebeard' now assembled in council to decide a political position.

Pippin: As long as' do not make a circle.

MERRY: Quiet Pippin, we can relax! In fact, the book tells of how clearly now the Ents decide to disintegrate Isengard. Yu-hu!

STEP FOUR Months, which shows us how Peter Jackson is using a sophisticated means ASYNCHRONOUS alternated during the assembling, and e 'and then a very cool director. At the end Treebeard returns by Hobbit.

Treebeard: E-hum. We said, 'Hello how are you? So, we are gathered here for an important decision. "

MERRY: four months to tell you this?!

Treebeard: What do you want, these are the times we Ent. However, do not attack Isengard, 'cause three-quarters of us are far to busy to send out the trial against Berlusconi.

MERRY pulls his copy of the book written in hobbit them against a tree 'near.

TREE: OUCH! What have I to do?

Pippin is captured by an idea.

Pippin: And if it turns out that Count Dooku is burning and destroying the forest that is under your care?

MERRY (dark): Pepin, if it happened really Ents would know first!

Pippin: Why 'in this film you trust more of what the book says?

MERRY us reflect seriously.

MERRY: I and 'had an idea: let's all a moment to see what happens to Isengard'! Meanwhile

of Helm's Deep and the situation 'critical.

intelligence chief of Theoden: We have only old people and children and believes that Miranda Otto's ability to fight, while the enemy is beyond us twenty to one, and the portaerei ROOSEVELT e INDEPENDENCE schierate nel fiume Isen.

RE THEODEN: Chiedero' all'ONU un'altra risoluzione! Funziona sempre!

In quel momento arriva alla fortezza una divisione di ELFI NAZISTI, capitanata da HALDIR.

HALDIR: Siamo venuti a onovave l'antico patto tva gli elfi e il covaggioso popolo dei cavalli!

ISPETTORI ONU: Re Theoden fa chiaramente uso di truppe non previste dal libro, e quindi l'attacco terrestre e' giustificato!

OTTO MILIARDI DI URUK-HAI assaltano le mura del Fosso, ovvero il numero minimo calcolato dagli strateghi di Isengard per sopravvivere alla prima bordata delle frecce di LEGOLAS. Si accende un mischione pauroso in cui accade di tutto!

King Théoden: It does not matter! So no one has ever broken through the walls of the ditch! (The walls blown up by mines to the U-BOAT of Count Dooku and the action moving and glorious a single uruk-hai, under the trick will recognize some Scoter BEN CROSS).

Uruk-Hai: ADRIAAAANAAAA !!!!! (BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!)

King Théoden: Anyways'! So no 'never entered the main fortress! (Uruk-hai break through, thanks to tactics worthy of Russell Crowe in THE GLADIATOR)

Legolas (caught by a sudden idea): Nobody has ever gagged the King!

ALL look Theoden.

King Théoden: I have a better idea! We load a horse to Hope in God!

VIGGO: Tutto purche' non Miranda.

Si scatena un grande contrattacco a cavallo, durante il quale i cavalieri scoprono una cosa meravigliosa: CHE AGLI URUK-HAI IN CG CI SI PUO' PASSARE IN MEZZO! All'improvviso sorge il sole, e Gandalf appare all'orizzonte est.

TUTTI: Evviva e' tornato Gandalf, il Bianco Cavaliere! Evviva Gandalf! Ora carichera' con i rinforzi!

GANDALF perde invece mezz'ora a fare scene equestri stagliato controluce.

VIGGO (rivolto a LEGOLAS): Tira un missile contro quell'imbecille!!

Fortunatamente GANDALF, che ha portato con se' EOMER, si decide infine a caricare gli uruk-hai sul fianco, e il risultato del susseguente massacro and 'so obvious that we do not even see. In that same moment his ENT that Look at 'Count Dooku discovered that burned and ravaged trees, they're tearing Isengard.

CHRISTOPHER LEE (looking at the scene resigned, with his cheek resting on his hand): Sixty years of honorable service to make the bad I was taught not to blame.

Treebeard: flooding and destroy everything in a moment of immense effort months!

CHRISTOPHER LEE: But you '.

Meanwhile Frodo, Sam, Gollum, Faramir and the soldiers of Gondor arrived on the set of THE ENEMY AT THE GATES.

Faramir (addressed to one that looks like a guy who curiously there is' always in every film di "Guerre Stellari"): Portate questo mezz'uomo a mio padre Denethor, e dite che suo figlio Faramir gli invia una grande arma della quale gli Ispettori dell'ONU non sanno nulla!

SAM: Brutto sono gay! Siete proprio uguale a vostro fratello! Se Frodo non getta l'Anello nel Monte Fato saranno guai per tutti, e guardate voi che casino che ci combinate!

TUTTI GLI UOMINI DI GONDOR E TUTTE LE SPIE DI SAURON PRESENTI SULLA SCENA: COSA?!? Questo mezz'uomo e' in possesso dell'Anello Dominante e lo sta andando a gettare nel Monte Fato?? INTERESSANTE!!

Intanto FRODO, completamente in palla, offre l'ANELLO DEL POTERE a un Nazgul che stava pattugliando la NO-FLY-ZONE sopra Osgiliath. Lo spettro resta petrified with astonishment.

Nazgul: But how.? I am the "Lord of the Rings" I know by heart, and 'I'm the point of the story and Frodo' to Cirith Ungol, not to Osgiliath!

While frantically Nazgul browse a copy of the book (written in Black Speech) to see who's right, Sam throws him to Frodo, and Faramir hits the beast with an arrow flying Nazgul.

flying beasts: Ahio! But are you crazy? The contract was written that I had to fly over and terrorize the set of extras, and here instead sticking power rings, angry warriors, arrows fly true. you have news from my union!

The flying beasts goes taking away the Nazgul still immersed in reading. FARAM approaches Frodo.

FARAM: I was all wrong. But when I saw you give the Ring to that Nazgul first pass I realized that my duty and 'send to Mordor alone accompanied by a schizophrenic. (To his men) Liberateli!

LIEUTENANT Faramir: But Captain. so 'risk their lives! In fact, there Gondor 'a law very precise three thousand years old that says if a Hobbit named Frodo Baggins in Ithilien and by chance found in possession of the Ring Ruling should be released, who will' will be made death.

FARAM: Amen, vabbe '!

Frodo, Sam and Gollum are then released. Gollum plots to himself '.

Gollum: I have an idea! We will bring the brats hobbit from her. And after you will have them 'take the ring arranged. Eh, yes ', what a great idea,' cause you know how it is with the stupid brats!

Letizia Moratti: Why 'me your ears ringing?

Mount Doom erupts, and that the 'understandable since it's' a volcano, and even the Dark Tower of Barad-Dur erupts, and here and it 'already' more 'disturbing, given that a volcano is not'. But before the end credits there 'still time for Miranda Otto who decides what a spoiler of the third film.

MIRANDA OTTO: Fully dressed as a man, his face hidden by a helmet, and hidden by a spell Of the proper, 'ride' to myself Gondor, soddisfacendo cosi' il mio desiderio di combattere insieme alla mia gente.

POPOLO DI ROHAN: Evviva! Dama Eowyn parte per Gondor! E con un bellissimo stendardo! Forza Dama Eowyn, suonagliele sode!! (piovono rose)

PETER JACKSON: Ma. come fanno a saperlo? E' IMPOSSIBILE! Miranda Otto e' completamente nascost.

PETER JACKSON CAPISCE

PETER JACKSON (correndo verso i cavalieri in partenza): FERMI! FERMATELA! FERMIIII.!

LA VOCE DI PJ SI SPEGNE IN LONTANANZA. DISSOLVENZA IN NERO
TITOLI DI CODA

L'AVVENTURA FINIRA' NE "IL RITORNO DEL RE"!!!